To the Birth of a Friendship
by Bye11
Summary: "Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: "What! You too? I thought I was the only one." (C.S. Lewis). It's the first night at Florrick, Agos & Associates. Alicia and Cary drink and talk.


**A/N: Completely new territory here. I have never tried writing Cary before. And this is a scene that would never happen on the show although I don't feel it as being too OOC. I might be wrong. Cary fans out there, feel free to tell me you hated it =D. **

"The others are gone. I thought we could start our tradition."

In walked Cary, tie loosened and jacket discarded, probably back in his office. He was carrying tequila in one hand and scotch in the other.

"Wow, you remembered tequila is my favorite."

She liked the perspective of ending the day with alcohol and Cary. They needed to strengthen their relationship to survive in the huge enterprise they had just embarked on.

"As any great partner would."

He smirks and sits down on the other side of the couch. He pours their drinks and they toast.

"To Florrick, Agos & Associates."

"We are truly going to make it, aren't we?"

He seemed excited, like a kid on his first adventure and his enthusiasm was contagious. She was wired too for the beginning of this new project. Being First Lady of Illinois was a personal accomplishment. Their family had weathered the scandal and come out on the other side stronger, or so she kept telling herself. Florrick, Agos & Associates was a professional one. She didn't have to choose one or the other. She could have it all. That was what everybody wanted, wasn't it? She contributed to the assessment of the situation.

"We are, we have great lawyers and Robyn is an amazing investigator."

"Yes, I'm happy with our choice."

His voice had lost the spark of a few seconds before. She recognized the reason immediately.

"What you really wanted to say is "She is amazing but she is no Kalinda" didn't you?"

"Am I that transparent?"

He probably wasn't to an external observer but Alicia had shared an office with him and for a lawyer, that meant she had been her roommate for the last months. She could tell.

"Apparently. Whatever happened between you two?"

Curiosity had eaten her on the subject. She could have asked Kalinda but it had felt like the ultimate barrier-breaking and she hadn't known if she was ready for that. Or if she had to be honest, she hadn't been ready to withstand Kalinda's scrutiny about Will. Guess it didn't matter anymore.

"What kind of question is that? Are we bonding?"

It didn't seem like such a forsaken idea. They were both in dire need of friends.

"We seem to be. And you told me that we are the next Will & Diane."

The fulfillment of that prediction of his was one of her biggest hopes. The professional relationship of their former bosses was nothing but enviable.

"So you think that Will and Diane talked about their sexual lives behind closed doors."

"Ewww. That's a disturbing image. But you did confirm that there is a sexual life to speak of, I suspected as much."

"You're such a lawyer."

And he wasn't?

"Pot...kettle."

"Touché" he conceded.

"Spill."

Cary was still very reluctant but she wasn't about to give up. She had put an end to her sexual escapades. She had to live vicariously through Cary's.

"Seriously? We should be talking about firm business."

He was trying so hard to play the adult, probably afraid that she wasn't taking him seriously. She was, she always had but for them to be partners their conversation couldn't all be about work, could it?

"We are on our first night, everybody else is gone, I have tequila, you have scotch and you want to talk about work? How old are you, really, behind that youthful exterior?"

She was pushing the boundaries but she felt like it. She had walked out on her two delightfully-inappropriate drinking companions. Cary had to step up.

"Fine. We slept together but then..."

He had capitulated and she had been right. There had been a strange, charged vibe between them. She pitied Cary a little. Falling for Kalinda wasn't an easy destiny. In normal relationships interpreting signals was tricky, with Kalinda it would be an Hamletic dilemma each and every time.

"She is Kalinda."

"Exactly. And now, after this..."

Poor Cary. He was such a young boy under the many layers he had imposed on himself. He was worried about having made the wrong move, maybe showing his cards so soon. She reassured him.

"She'll forgive you."

"How do you know? She doesn't strike me as the forgiving and forgetting type."

"She won't forget but she'll forgive you."

If he wanted a clear explanation she didn't have one but she liked to believe that she still had an instinct in her for what concerned Kalinda.

"Just as Will won't forget but will forgive you?"

That was a sore spot. No, Will wouldn't. And it wasn't because he was generally a less forgiving person than Kalinda. It was because what she had done to him was unjustifiable. Not even the most loyal of friends would be able to forgive.

"No, I think I have exhausted my quota of forgiveness with Will."

Saying it out loud made it seem much more real and certain. She had lost Will. There was no possible way of repairing things.

"It can't have been easy. Leaving him."

She nodded. At first, it had been an impulsive decision. But then day after day, maintaining her resolve had been one of the hardest things she had ever done.

"I envied you at the beginning. I didn't envy your situation for sure but during one of our first cases, I was burning the midnight oil working and Will came and the conversation somehow veered on you. He told me something like "you know what's great about someone like Alicia. She's a natural, she doesn't have to try so hard." I was Diane's protégé. She thought she could mold me into someone great. But Will, he was already in awe of you."

She could see clearly now why Cary hadn't wanted to participate in this bonding ritual. She had enough occasions in her head of Will's kindness, of Will's admiration, of Will's love. She didn't need to be told of ulterior ones. Not that night, maybe not ever.

Cary had to have noticed her change in countenance because he immediately backpedaled from that topic of conversation.

"What I mean to say is that I'm thankful. I know it was a difficult decision to make."

"Yeah, well...It was the right decision."

If it was possible to consume an adjective, she had certainly squandered "right". What she had just told to Cary had been her mantra. Right for Zach. Right for Grace. Right for Peter. Right for Eli. Right for Illinois. Right for her?

"You should insist with Kalinda."

Where had that come from? She had wanted to sway the conversation but how had that encouragement come up?

Cary was perplexed.

"I think she is more interested than she's willing to admit. She needs to be pushed."

"Are we still talking about Kalinda here?"

Cary was a perceptive man. She would do well to remember that in the future.

"Yes, who else would we be talking about?"

Perhaps, concealed behind her roles, her rationality, her proper behavior, there had been a part of her that had expected Will to fight. There might have been some dreams, the night of the election and those immediately after that about Will cornering her in an elevator, in an office, forcing her to confront those feelings that weren't going away. It wasn't fair, she wasn't unaware of that. Will had been betrayed, he had probably been convinced that from her he could only garner another humiliation. But the timing had been too coincidental. Will understood even her subtexts. He had to have put two and two together. He had to have known that she had been, once again, driven by the circumstances. If a Will-circumstance had come along...

If he had nudged her, if he had insisted on her admitting the truth, maybe things would have been radically different.

A forbidden thought but nonetheless an existing one.

"I wish I knew how to insist with her. You know what she told me once? That we weren't just from different planets, we were like spaghetti and hydrogen, different categories. She is knowable but not to me. How do you not love someone like that?"

"Love, uh?"

"At this point who the hell knows? Maybe I love the idea of the chase, maybe I'm a masochist and I love being frustrated."

The list of justifications was painfully familiar. Each of them was a circle of the denial-spiral. She had made the horrifying descent one too many times.

"Maybe you love her and you're trying to convince yourself you don't because it would be easier."

"Is that what I'm doing?"

"It's what I'm doing."

Cary looked positively flabbergasted at the tidbit of information she had volunteered.

"I imagine this is just a first-night exception."

Good, he was catching on fast on her moods and way of acting.

"Yes. Everything said tonight is covered by attorney-client privilege."

"Then let's go crazy. I love Kalinda but I'm afraid that I'll be waiting for her forever."

"I love Will but I just stabbed him in the back to get away from him."

"I went to Kalinda's rival instead of giving her what she wanted."

"I was ready to forgive Kalinda but now she'll side with Will."

"I poached clients to a future Illinois Supreme Court judge and the very first person that saw in me signs of greatness."

"That my husband is appointing so we'll have to be there step by step and watch all we left behind from a separate corner."

"At least nobody can say that we are mismatched partners."

She laughed loudly at that comment and he joined her. Then he raised his glass.

"One last toast to the new Will & Diane, to the birth of a partnership."

And not just that. She had one thing to add.

"To the birth of a friendship."


End file.
